The House of Mourning
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After the burial, mourners return home to sit shiva for seven days. Shiva is the Hebrew word for seven. During the shiva week mourners are expected to remain at home. There are seven relatives for whom a Jew is required to observe shiva: father, mother, brother or sister, son, daughter, or spouse. During the shiva week prayer services are usually conducted at the mourners’ house. The synagogue in which the mourners belongs will usually ensure that a minyan (ten Jewish adults) be present at each service.

WASHING OF THE HANDS

Washing of the hands symbolically represents separating ourselves from the spiritual impurity Judaism attributes to death. Containers of water and towels should be placed near the entrance of the home. Upon returning from the cemetery each individual pours water upon their hands.

COVERING OF MIRRORS

Mirrors in the house of mourning are covered representing the concern humankind have with physical appearance. The covering of mirrors emphasizes a period of time set aside for spiritual reflection.

LIGHING OF THE SHIVA CANDLE

A shiva candle (seven day candle) should be kindled upon return from the cemetery and placed in the room where shiva will be observed. It symbolizes the body and the soul of the human being. As the psalmist states: “The Candle of the Lord is the soul of man.”

THE MEAL OF CONDOLENCE

The first meal eaten by the mourner upon return from the cemetery is called the meal of condolence. Prepared and served by friends, creating an atmosphere of support. It is a Jewish custom to include hard boiled eggs, as the egg reminds us of eternal life.

THE SHIVA CHAIRS

Seating for the mourners should be arranged. It should be lower to the floor then the general seating. This custom is to reinforce the mourner’s inner emotions. Feeling “low” is a symbol of depression, in Jewish law depression is acted out literally. When individuals visit to offer comfort it is appropriate for the mourner to be seated.

THE WEARING OF SHOES

During the shiva period mourners should not wear shoes made of leather. This custom is rooted in the command of G-d to Ezekiel not to mourn: “And you shall put your shoe on your foot.” (Ezekiel24:14) Thus indicating, that the removal of shoes is a sign of mourning. In Jewish Law a shoe refers solely to a foot covering made of leather. Slippers and canvas gym shoes provided appropriate foot wear for the mourners.